Texas Pastor Confronts the Church's Loneliness Epidemic in New Book

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Gregg Wooding

gregg@iampronline.com / 972-567-7660

“The number one factor that defines you as a follower of Jesus is the way that you love each other,” says Keith Spurgin, Author of “Unknown”

DALLAS, Tex. — Behind the outward success of a fast-growing ministry, Pastor Keith Spurgin was quietly unraveling—emotionally disconnected, relationally isolated, and struggling in his marriage. His story, he says, is far more common in today’s church than many are willing to admit.

At a time when headlines are filled with reports of ministry moral failures, athlete suicides, and a growing mental-health crisis among teens, Spurgin offers a candid and hope-filled response in his new book, Unknown: Finding Connection in a Disconnected World.

“There was all this external success,” Spurgin recalls, “and I was leading an organization meant to connect people to God and to one another—yet I felt completely disconnected. I was helping people feel known, while I felt deeply unknown.”

Spurgin is the founder of a thriving North Dallas church and a global missionary leader. In Unknown, he writes as a pastor, husband, and friend who has personally navigated betrayal, marital strain, and the emptiness of superficial success.

His experience mirrors a growing national crisis. According to Barna Research, nearly one-third of Americans report feeling lonely on a daily basis, while 23% of Gen Z say they frequently feel lonely and 26% feel isolated.

“We’re more technologically connected than ever in human history,” Spurgin says, “yet we’re more lonely, disconnected, and isolated than ever before.”

Drawing from Scripture and decades of ministry experience, Spurgin returns to a foundational truth: “Life is about relationship—the rest is just details,” a principle he first learned from Christian author Gary Smalley.

“That’s why Jesus said the greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbor,” Spurgin explains. “The Kingdom of God is built on relationship—relationship with God and relationship with people.”

In Unknown, Spurgin introduces what he calls the “relational pain cycle,” a pattern that keeps people stuck in shallow connections.

“We enter relationships, we experience pain, and our instinct is to pull away to protect ourselves,” he says. “We build walls, isolate, and then jump to the next relationship hoping it will be different. But mature relationships come through forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration—not avoidance.”

One of the book’s most poignant moments recounts Spurgin traveling alone in a closed country, sick and afraid, realizing no one knew where he was. In desperation, he called his best friend—despite the risk of having their conversation monitored.

“We barely spoke,” he recalls. “But just hearing someone who knew me, loved me, and believed in me changed everything. In that moment, I went from unknown to known.”

That moment crystallized the heart of the book.

“Connection is why we’re here,” Spurgin says. “We’re hardwired for it. You can have success, accolades, influence—but without someone to share life with, it all means nothing.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Keith Spurgin is a gifted communicator, and the founder of New Hope Church in a north Dallas suburb in Texas. Also, the founder of the Growth Resourcing Group (GRG), a leadership network impacting close to fifteen thousand leaders in North America, Europe, and Africa, he speaks to leaders around the world in leadership conferences, churches, businesses, and governments.

MEDIA

To arrange your NRB interview with Keith Spurgin, contact:

Gregg Wooding

I AM PR

972-567-7660

gregg@iampronline.com

BIOGRAPHY

Keith Spurgin is an author, an international speaker, and the President of Growth Resourcing Group – an organization dedicated to helping leaders, pastors, and business owners lead better than ever.

A long history of leading multiple organizations and relationship building has convinced him, “Nothing great happens without great leadership and great relationships.” He’s sold out to helping leaders lead better. If you are one of those leaders, you’ve experienced his stubborn pursuit of growth and transformation in his own life and in the lives around him.

He is also a husband, father, and friend to many. Keith loves to build long term relationships that go the distance. He’s an avid cyclist and founder of New Hope Church in Wylie, Texas, USA. 

BOOK SUMMARY

Ever wished for a book that could help one navigate the tricky, challenging path to healthy relationships? Unknown is a practical road map to take relationships from mundane or lifeless to vibrant and fulfilling.

Today’s world offers more technological connection than any generation before. Yet loneliness, isolation, and disconnection have reached epidemic levels. Research confirms it again and again.

The ability to connect is everywhere, yet mental and emotional health continues to decline. Poor or lacking relational connection increases the risk of heart disease by 29%, stroke by 32%, dementia by 50%, and premature death by 60%.

In a world filled with rich coffee, stylish clothes, and gourmet meals, many still sit alone—with no one to truly share life with. Even within families, the sense of being unknown or unseen can quietly persist.

And that cuts against what makes life worth living. As Brené Brown put it, “Connection is why we’re here. We are hardwired to connect with others—it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives, and without it there is suffering.”

Want authentic relationships that stand the test of time? Unknown offers hope and real help. With insights born from personal experience and a path walked from disconnection to deep connection, Leadership coach and pastor Keith Spurgin provides the tools needed to build the kind of genuine relationships that every heart longs for.

SUGGESTED INTERVIEW QUESTIONS

1. Why did you write the book "Unknown"?

2. Your book is titled Unknown. What does it mean to feel “unknown,” even while leading a growing ministry?

3. You write candidly about success masking deep loneliness. Why do you think this is such a common struggle among pastors and church leaders today?

4. Jesus said the world would know His followers by how they love one another. How does loneliness undermine the witness of the church?

5. You introduce the “relational pain cycle.” Can you explain what it is and how it keeps people stuck in shallow or broken relationships?

6. Many believers respond to relational pain by withdrawing. Why is vulnerability the first step toward true connection?

7. In the book, you distinguish between avoiding pain and growing through it. What does biblical forgiveness and reconciliation actually require of us?

8. You share a powerful story about calling your best friend while sick and alone in a closed country. Why was that moment so pivotal for you?

9. How can churches create environments where people are truly known—not just attending, serving, or performing?

10. What would you say to pastors, leaders, or Christians who feel isolated but don’t know how to take the first step toward deeper relationships?

11. If believers embraced God’s design for authentic, life-giving relationships, how do you think it would change families, churches, and communities?

12. How can audiences keep up with your ministry online and purchase a copy of your new book, Unknown?